This is Awkward
by chronos136
Summary: So, in one day I have traveled back in time, moved to a different state that wasn't in my time line, returned to high school, and pissed off a family of vampires that should only exist in the fictional world. This is going to be so much fun.
1. FINDING OUT IN BOOK :O

**DISCLAIMER: I am not Stephanie Meyer and I do not own Twilight. Tis but a shame I know for if I was Madam Meyer, I would have a swimming pool filled with, I do believe the current times have dubbed them "Benjamins", and I would be "rollin in it". Today's current slang is quite baffling.**

 **Regardless, enjoy my story. Not sure if going to have any new relationships, leave a review if ya feel like it.**

 **Oh and if at some point during reading, a demon is summoned to you and requests bus pass money, ignore that, he doesn't require worldly capital.**

This is awkward. Here I am. A twenty four year old guy, stuck in my sixteen year old body. Sitting in a high school cafeteria of a school I never attended, and trust me, I attended quite a few (record being 4 in one year). But hey, I mean it can't be all that bad right? You must be reading this and be like, wow, second chance! Do over! Yeahhh…..no. This could be bad, like really bad. Life or death bad. Because right now I am staring at five vampires, one is freaking out, two are confused about what is going on, another is trying to keep control, and the last is looking at me like she would like nothing more than to walk over and remove my head from the rest of my body (or worse, she may get creative). I mean what could possibly go wrong attending Forks High and knowing exactly what is going to happen?

So here I was, I had just left the apartment starting the drive to a surf competition when I saw the headlights. You might be like, "well Alex, if you see rapidly approaching headlights, it may be a wise decision to move your ass to any other place that is out of the way," and I would entirely concur. Advice kids, if a large vehicle is approach at a high speed then move. However, back to me, in the moment I found myself frozen at the sight of the two headlights approaching rapidly. Then it hit me. As in the vehicle hit me. Stories or movies seem to say that time seem time slows down in car accidents. Trust me it doesn't. The truck or whatever monster vehicle that had been the cause of my demise hit my tiny car on the passenger side and sent my car flying into the wall of some building, a movie theatre I think. My head had hit so many parts of the car that I wasn't sure which way was up. Some part of my mind registered the screams that were going on in the distance. However for some strange reason my mind seem to focus on the advertisement that had been posted between the wall and my passenger window. Looking at the red apple resting in those hands as the black spots began to cover my vision and the sounds began to buzz together, all I could think was, _I know that movie,_ before everything disappeared all together.

It was the airplane's rough landing that woke me up.

 _What the hell? How did I get here?_

Overhead the Captain's voice came on "Ladies and gentlemen please remain seated until the seat belt light turns off. We have arrived at Port Angeles, Washington. Outside the weather is-"

He droned on, but I was in Port Angeles. What the hell was I doing here. It's cold. I don't do cold. I do desert. LIke 90 degree weather. Port Angeles is in Washington. And btw Washington is right next to CANADA. It's raining like 100% of the year.

 _Okay Alexander, think, why are you here. Washington. Wait Jade is living in Washington. Okay, so maybe that annoying older step-step-sister of mine_ _is up to something. Alright, just relax and take this one step at a time._

When I had been younger my family had often travelled and I had learned to follow a procedure to make sure everything went alright.

The light for seat belts turned off and I watched as everyone practically stood up at the same time. It is easier to be patient and wait. With everyone trying to get of at the same time, people were pushed, shoved, hit with travel bags. And patience has always been my strong suit. I waited as the number dwindled down as people grabbed their bags and began forcing their way out. Once it reached a lower number and the flight attendants were starting to look at me funny I stood up and looked at the storage space above the seats. Bingo. One bag left and it was my old school backpack.

 _Wait, I thought I junked this a few years ago. Huh, guess not, must have found it befo-._

 _Before WHAT?_

 _Okay steps, Alex, follow steps._

The next step to do after departing your plan is to look around. In most airports immediately after exiting the plane there will be a large sign that will state where you are, just to double check.

 _Alright definitely in Port Angeles._

After collecting my bag from the loading area, I decided to walk outside to see if I could figure out what the hell am I supposed to do next. Before I could get there I heard an incredibly annoying ringtone. One that my pain in the ass step-sister set for me years ago. _Don't Cha_ by the Pussycat Dolls. Needless to say, I hate Jade, with a passion. But with that damned ringtone, I figured out what was going on, I was dreaming that I went back in time. Probably laying in my bed relaxing and soon this thing would end. But strangely this dream is really vivid. Most of my dreams are dull and forgetful.

Reaching into my pocket I pulled out my phone, a grey Motorola flip phone. I smirked, this thing is ancient. I flipped it open.

"Hey sis, what can I do you for," I asked, knowing it was her.

"Come on lazy, get your ass out here. I'm freezing my ass off outside, I already grabbed your suitcases," An annoyed whiny voice replied.

"Gotcha, be out there in a jiffy."

My step-sister Jade is annoying. Not the fun, loud, enjoyable annoying some people are. No she is the obnoxious, squeaky, high pitched annoying that you figured most girls would grow out of in middle school. She looks nothing like me. She has long black hair and an oriental face. She is practically all bone, she looks like a bean pole.

Since I went back in time I decided to doom my ears and began asking her a few questions about how she's been, what she's been up to and stuff like that. When she told me that this was her third semester at college I did a little math.

 _Alright third semester, she's what, almost 3 years older than me. So what she would be 19 or 20, guess that would make me 16 or 17. So that would make this around 2005? Awesome!_

Looking up I grabbed the mirror and flicked it down. And wouldn't you know it, young teenage me was staring back. Surfer dirty blonde hair down to my neck, badass emerald green eyes (if I do say so myself), a Californian tan, and an overall semi-attractive face. I'm not the hottest thing since sliced bread, but hey my killer confidence makes up for it. As my pa once said "you could look like a dump, as long as you're a confident dump the girls will still fall at your feet"...just kidding my dad never said that, but still, always be confident.

After giving myself a once over, figuring that I was right on the year, I decided to use my super power and block out the stream of annoying drable that seem to be pouring out of the step-demon's mouth and focus on the finer things in life. I looked out the window to the dismal, depressing, downcast, and other d-words that describe the overall depressing feel the green forest gave off. Give me the beach, palm trees, and a surfboard anyday.

"-once you start your classes I'll leave you alone at the place." at this I focused back to Jade.

"Huh?"

She sighed annoyed, clearly expecting me to listen to every word like it was delivered from God himself. Yeah, right.

"I said, that I am staying with a friend in her apartment next to the college, so once you start your classes at Forks High School then I'm leaving you."

 _Ah, crap. High school, the bane of my existence. Surfer/Californian jokes here I come. Can't this dream end soon. Wait, Forks High? That sounds familiar._

It still hadn't ended. I was looking at a large bedroom with a king sized bed.

I was in love. This bed and I were going to become best friends. Who cares if I'm dreaming, I love sleep so much I do it while I'm dreaming. I usually go to bed around nine voluntarily. You must be like "what a loser, he must have no life". Well no to the first a no to the second, ya jerks. I just like sleep and you can go suck it.

The room was empty except for the bed, a small wooden dresser and an even metal smaller desk (with no chair, I mean seriously). The walls were painted a deep blue that reminded me of the ocean with the bed following the same color scheme.

I liked it. The room had plenty of space for me to throw on some headphones and dance to the tunes like a complete fool, yup thats me.

Down the hall I could hear Jade talking on the phone with one of her many "friends", or squeaking/screaming/whining plus whatever other synonyms of the word annoying. I really can't wait for her to leave.

The house I was moving into was a cozy 2 bedroom 1 bath cottage nestled into the woods away from the road. It wasn't really furnished cept for the basics, parents figured out if they were moving me around so much then it wasn't really necessary to furnish the place. Not that they couldn't afford it, Mum's family owns an international oil company while Dad works as a plastic surgeon….in Beverly Hills. "Oh hey have you ever met any celebs?" Sigh. Yes. Yes I have and no I'm not going to give you their cell numbers. Grow up. They are just people. Anyways yeah my family is really rich, I already own three cars, well two at this age in the dream. However, I will get another when I graduate. The only one I drive is my red Mini Cooper, but my father seemed to think I needed a more professional car so he also bought me a black Audi S4. But the Aston Martin Vanquish that my grandfather on my mother side bought, well that more for showing off.

Two days have passed. Two days of exploring the woods around the house and reading some of the books I brought with me. I apparently didn't plan on staying long..…..only one of my giant suitcases was completely filled. I have an addiction. What do I read? Uh well. Fantasy, Romance, Drama, Historical, Cooking, Medical, Language….okay let's just say that if it has words I will read it, 'kay? Cept poetry….we don't get along poetry and I.

Jade left yesterday. Didn't even offer a goodbye. Doesn't really matter, been living by myself for five years now. I could handle this.

So guess what, been here two days and I'm getting less positive this is a dream.

1st clue, ran into a door. It hurt.

2nd clue, I still sleep and dream, so inception much?

3rd clue, this is way to vivid.

So guess I traveled back in time, changed something and now I'm in Washington.

Cool.

Except I went back to junior year.

Of high school.

Which starts in about 20 minutes. Crap

Dressing quickly in some designer clothes one of my sisters bought for me. Jeans, a red shirt, and a tight jacket. Plus my Chuck Taylors, gawd I missed these shoes, style and comfort. Two years ago in my real time a girl I was watching decided that my shoes would look better in pink and blue….with gemstones and paint. So when I noticed that my shoes were my Limited Edition Chuck Taylors, well I think I probably cried and thanked whatever god sent me back in time.

Anyways, school. I drove through the tiny town thinking that I would pull over my red Mini Cooper to ask somebody where the school is. But seriously it's like town, then school. It's really small. Small town high school. Oh...what fun. Please notice previous statement was dripping with sarcasm.

Pulling into the already packed parking lot I noticed that my cooper was attracting every pair of eyes. Ugh. Looking for a spot I noticed a shiny Volvo parked so that it was taking up two spaces.

 _No Alex, bad idea._

Why I'm just making a point.

 _No you are making enemies. On the first day!_

Oh no the Cooper is driving itself.

 _Damn it stop ignoring me!_

Oh no its in park! Oh well may as well leave it here.

 _You are a idiot._

Yes, now go away little angel, you are not needed.

Stepping out of my car, grinning stupidly. Looking around I noticed that pretty much noticed everyone's curious gazes turned to one's of horror. Oh, so scary person drives the Volvo that my cooper was parked right next to on the driver's side. To get in one is going to have to climb through the passenger's door. I am evil.

Grabbing my backpack from my car and turning to the staring audience, I smiled before turning to the dull grey building that said main office. Walking in I noticed a large, redhead lady sitting behind the desk looking down.

"Excuse me."

Looking up through ugly wire glasses she noticed me, eyes widening in curiosity. I put on my most charming smile, no need to be enemies with staff.

"Hello miss, I'm Alexander Casp. I'm new here and I'm not really sure…" I trailed off hoping for her to understand. Adults always like to feel smart telling you what to do. Makes em feel special.

"Oh of course," she replied, "I am Ms. Cope, here is your schedule and the school map. And you need to take this slip to each of your teachers and have them sign it. Then return it here at the end of the day. Okay?"

I smiled before thanking her and walking out. Looking at the schedule I grimaced. Government, English, Calculus, Spanish, lunch then Art, finally Gym.

Ugh these classes are so low. Well not Calculus and art. Those will be hard. Calculus cause I was never good at it, art cause even my stick figures look disfigured. But in my time I had just finished my 3rd year at the Uni and already set up to graduate summa cum laude, this was going to be slow.

Moving on I took a quick look at the map, memorizing it in one look, thank you perfect memory. I looked up and noticed an Asian boy coming up rapidly with the welcome sign smile plastered on. Oh boy. Here comes the welcome party.

"Hi I'm Eric Yorkie!" he said brightly.

I nodded, "Sup, I'm Alex Casp."

The kid didn't stop. Holy. Crap. Nice kid, but that voice box didn't stop, asked questions then proceeded to answer them. All that was needed was more nodding. He did thankfully offer a seat at his table. So not too bad. Just friendly.

He walked me to my first class talking nonstop, before promising to meet me at lunch. Waking in to Government I could tell I barely made it as most of the seats were filled. After signing my sheet and sitting down I sat through hell again. Kids right and left asked me questions about who I am and where I'm from.

"Yes I'm from California." True.

"Yes this is my natural hair color." True.

"No I don't know any famous people." False.

"I can sort of surf." Understatement.

The same happened in English. However it had another set of problems. And it went by the name of Lauren Mallory. One look in those eyes and I knew who she was. Gossip queen, school bitch, shallow, vain, and annoying. As she was droning on and on my mind seemed to connect something.

 _Lauren Mallory? Forks? Wait. No. Oh and Eric. Aren't they from Tw-_

"Hey Alex how about you sit in my group during lunch today" Lauren said flirtatiously, interrupting my train of thought.

I looked over at her and noticed what I'm guessing was supposed to be a sexy look. Mentally throwing up, I smiled.

"Sorry Lauren I already promised I'd sit with Eric Yorkie, maybe some other time."

 _Suck it._

Her smile got even bigger, "Oh my gosh!" _Fuck._ "Eric is in my group, wow this like fate or something!"

 _I hate fate._

I smiled at her and pretended like this made my day. This sucks. This girl is going to be a total pain. She looks at me a she sees a shiny new toy. Yeah sorry hun, I don't play like that. I would actually prefer a girl with a little more depth than a puddle. She was about to continue to prattle on about something pointless but thankfully the teacher noticed her and called on her. Saved. The rest of the class I pretended to focus diligently. If anything this was going to be my best grade, just focusing on the class was a hell of alot easier than dealing with Lauren.

Quickly escaping as soon as the bell rang, I walked to my next class.

Spanish. Okay. Yeah for someone with an IQ of 150, perfect photographic memory, reads in 12 languages, fluent in 7 of them, this class was going to be a breeze. I mastered Spanish before I finished elementary school and frequently practiced it with the staff that worked on the house. I wasn't sure if I should pretend like I don't understand or that I should correct the teacher whenever possible. I turned and looked at my left shoulder. I noticed the tiny red devil me smiling cruelly, no words were needed. I turned and looked to my other side, nothing. Hm, it appears that my angel has been hog tied, gagged, and locked in the basement. Well that makes my choices easier.

I walked up to the professor, an elderly female woman, and handed her my slip of paper.

 _This woman is going to hate me._

"Ah, Alexander Casp, of course. Soy muy consciente de que su conocimiento de este tema y me disculpo que esta escuela no ofrece los niveles más altos . Por favor, tratar de prestar atención pero entiendo si esto puede ser un poco aburrido para usted . Ah, y mi nombre es Señora Goff ." she said sweetly.

At one point in during her talk the little basement door in my head was kicked down and a little angel strolled through, shot the devil with a sleeping blow dart and sat on my shoulder.

 _We are going to be extremely nice to this woman, she is ADORABLE._

"Oh, no se preocupe señora Goff , yo , por supuesto, todavía presto atención , no hay ningún daño en el reaprendizaje de un sujeto y lenguas siempre se puede mejorar," I replied with my smile.

 _Hm, Mrs. Goff. That one is also in the books isn't she?_

She smiled again before pointed me to a seat in the back. The class had filled during our talk and most of the class was staring in awe. Smirking I walked to my seat before sitting down. The class flew by. Another Lauren whose name I really couldn't care less about, something with a J, tried to catch my attention but I simply ignored her, pretending to focus. After class I walked in the direction of the cafeteria. Lauren #2 walked next to me and continued to prattle on, I just nodded at the correct moments and smiled. It seemed to work. Luckily Yorkie rescued me. Well, it was lucky until he started to prattle on. Ugh high schoolers.

At the table, Eric introduced me to everyone, whose names I then completely forgot. Hey, I am bad with names, give me a break. I was listening to them prattle on when I saw them. They walked in through the door and I swear it was a scene from a movie, complete with slow mo and everything. As soon as they walked in I got my proof. I was in Twilight.

You might be like, hey, Alex, how long did it take you to come to terms with the fact that you had been transported into a fictional world? Well mr/mrs/miss reader, it took me just a couple of moments actually. You might think that's pretty impressive, but you also have to realize that I also had already come to terms with time travel so travelling to a fictional realm was sort of like a shoulder shrug and a uninterested ok.

Eric must have noticed me staring at the five that just walked in.

"Oh, that's the Cullen's, they don't talk to anyone," he commented.

I smirked internally.

 _If they decided to join you guys it would most like be to rip all of your heads off._

Lauren then proceed to give me all the scoop on the vampires but it wasn't anything that I hadn't heard before. I had already read all the books, hey, give me a break I like to read.

It was at this moment I heard the little devil.

 _Hey they can hear you from here._

Yeah, what about it.

 _Come on, do something fun._

I am interested, what do you have for me.

As the plan formed in my mind, my smile grew.

 _Alright let's do this._

As soon as I made the decision to do this, the small one seemed to look at me with the face of pure horror. Ah that one is Alice, right can see the future. The red-haired one head snapped up at her before looking at me with a face that matched his sisters. I'm guessing Edward on that one.

 _Hey Eddie, if you can hear me, try to hold Rosalie so she doesn't kill me._

I sighed theatrically catching the rest of the tables attention,"Man, I feel bad for the blonde."

The rest of the table looked at me in shock, Eric recovered first,"WHAT?" 

"Well I mean look at them," they did, "Alice is adorable, the perfect combo of small and pretty. Her spiky short hair matches her perfectly. Plus she is incredibly graceful as we could all see when she walked in. I am thinking ballet or some form of gymnastics would be blessed to have her. Then we have Jasper, I am guessing strong and silent type. Perfect match to Alice's apparent bubbly attitude. They complete each other. Then we have Emmett, Emmett right?" I asked knowing the answer.

They nodded and I continued, "Now I may be straight but I have no difficulty pointing out that he is a real mans man. Both attractive and muscular. Also, looking at that grin he has sporting now one can also guess that he has an extremely cheerful attitude. I am thinking most of his family sees him as the youngest brother, even if he is the oldest. A child through and through. Then we have Edward. Not as fit as Jasper or Emmett but still showing muscle. And the only single person at the table. I would wager he is waiting for the right one but would be unsure how to approach her even if he did find her though. He is definitely attractive but his face and his own upkeep seem to suggest some form of disappointment in his self-worth. He thinks something is wrong with him. I wonder…" I trailed off.

The group around me stared at me in awe while the Cullen's table were trying hard not look at me at all.

I sighed, "Then lastly Rosalie. There is no doubt she is beautiful. But it is not like the others whose beauty comes naturally. She must work very hard every morning, no doubt so she doesn't feel left behind by the others in their looks. Her hair is just so….poofy, so I am guessing at least four products. But it still doesn't have the natural look her siblings have. Her outfit is forced, showing too much in an effort to gain attention." I could see her scowling at the table, mostly likely imagining the many ways to kill me.

 _Time to end this. Que evil laugh._

"But honestly, the worst part. Her angry face. She could be so much more beautiful if she was smiling. But nope. In all the time I have been here she hasn't stopped scowling. So aggressive." I sighed again, "Such a pity, she could be at least a little pretty if she only smiled."

I looked back at the rest of the table, they guys were staring at me like I was insane, the girls were staring at Rosalie checking for themselves. And their I sat, basking in my evilness. I took a quick peek at the Cullens to see where I stood. Edward was staring at me completely mortified, Alice and Emmett were completely confused, Jasper was staring at Rosalie no doubt trying to use his powers to reign her in. And Rosalie. Ah Rosalie. There aren't enough words in the English language to describe the look of pure contempt she was giving me. I was totally and royally screwed.

Ah, what a great day.

 **Let me know what you think in the reviews!**

 **Oh and Sual, if you are still with the reader please return, my candles for my Satanic rituals are going out and I need you to stop by Hell 'R Us and get me some more.**

 **BYE!**


	2. THE DREADED ART CLASS

**DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT THE OWNER OF TWILIGHT. OR MAYBE I AM. BUT PROBABLY NOT. IDK REALLY. IT IS A FLIP OF THE COIN REALLY. OK HEADS I OWN TWILIGHT, TAILS STEPHANIE MEYERS DOES. 1..2...8…..5…..14…..I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COUNT….OK I THREW THE COIN. DANG ITS TAILS. Sigh I guess Old Lady Meyer is the owner of Twilight.**

 **Oh and please leave a review even if you damn my work to the deepest pits of hell. Your opinion matters to me you gorgeous human being. Yes that is flattery so you like my story.**

Watching the Cullen's freak out was funny. The devil was laughing, the angel was giggling but pretending that it wasn't, I was laughing in my head but outward you could only see my "pity". Rosalie in return, in her long lifetime, had mastered the perfect "fear me/you will die" glare and every aspect of its terrifying perfection was being sent directly towards me.

"Dude," Eric commented, "what did you do to Rosalie, she looks like she hates you."

I nodded all knowingly, "See that is what I mean, poor girl can't just smile."

Rosalie, hearing this, seemed to decide that the best course of action was to smile brightly. Or what she must have thought was a happy smile. In reality it was even scarier than her glare. It looked like she was a psychopath who just chose her next victim.

 _Oh. Wait. Yeah that probably isn't supposed to be a happy smile. I am her next victim. Oh well. But hey, she wants to play that way, why not._

"Oh, wow, never mind," I said sounding shocked, "that smile is terrifying. Poor girl can't get any breaks."

I looked over to see Emmett had put one hand on Rosalie's shoulder to restrain her but was hiding a smile. Looking back at Rosalie I couldn't help but smile a little at the look of pure hatred on her face. And when she saw that, it went from anger, to confusion, to shock, before settling to some sort of combo of all three. She looked at Edward rapidly, my eyes followed and I noticed that he gave her a slight nod. Her eyes turned back to me again, anger was the only emotion on her face now.

 _Uh oh, I think she figured out that I know what they are. This could get ugly._

I quickly turned back to the table and jumped into whatever conversation Lauren had going, and she was all too welcoming. Some deep part of me was telling me to run out of the cafeteria and escape. But I knew that the safest place for me was surrounded by people, even if those people made you want to gouge your ears out with a rusted spoon. But hey, loss of ears with annoying human girl or loss of life with annoyed vampire girl. It really isn't that hard of a choice.

I spent the rest of lunch keeping my gaze away from the Cullen's table and listening to Jessica and Lauren fight over my attention. And when the bell rang I meandered out at a leisurely pace. Hoping to be the last out so the Cullen's would have to leave before me to avoid suspicion. It must have worked because when I looked back to check and see where the vamps were at, I saw that their table was empty.

It was pointless. Walking into my next class, Art, I noticed that the tables were grouped into pairs. And everyone had one. Except one. Alice Cullen.

 _Have I said that I hate fate yet today? Cause I do. It sucks._

Walking up to the teacher, I handed her the slip. She said something. I have no idea what she said. She pointed. I barely looked. It was toward Alice. The confidence that had filled me during lunch was slowly dissipating. I mean all is fun and games with vamps when they are across the room but gets kind of terrifying when they are right next to you. The teacher also handed me some notebook that I could tell was supposed to be my portfolio, no point in telling her I can't draw, she will notice soon enough. I smiled at the teacher before slowly walking toward what could be my death. But, I put on my brave face and made sure my heart wasn't beating to rapidly and sat down next to the tiny girl that also happened to be a future-seeing/super speed/super strength/immortal/vampire.

I decided to go for broke and put on my charming smile and said, "Hey, I'm Alexander Casp, you must be Alice Cullen."

She looked at me amused, "Yes, I know who you are, you have been the talk of the town ever since we heard someone knew was coming."

"Ah, right small town and all that." I replied with a small chuckle.

She was about to respond when the teacher decided to call attention. She began telling us how we were supposed to draw the bowl of fruit on the table. But to make sure we were able to capture its essence or something that an artist would say. Then I remembered that in the books Alice was an excellent artist apparently. Now I was curious to see what masterpiece would come off of her pens today. But not to be pushy, I grabbed my own portfolio and after a brief smile in Alice's direction, which she returned if not forced a little, I began my disaster-piece.

Time seem to fly by as we all drew in silence. I would glance over every now and then and look at Alice's work and it wasn't hard to notice that it would be perfect showing of the bowl. The piece seemed to fit together perfectly and every detail was exact.

Now mine on the other hand looked awful. The bowl actually seemed to come out all right, but the fruit in the bowl all had jagged edges and weren't staying the right shape. I was screwed and I really didn't want this teacher to look at me badly. Yet.

Then it came to me. An awful idea. An awful and sneaky idea. An awful, sneaky and entirely perfect idea. I quickly looked at the time and I noticed that I only had a few minutes left to work on my plan. But I could pull it off. Next to me I heard was sounded like someone holding in laughter, I looked over and saw Alice looking at me as mirth danced in her eyes.

 _Ah, Miss I-Can-See-The-Future saw my battle plan._

I smirked at her before getting to work. Adding more jagged lines, pushing the shape out more. The fruit slowly gradually began taking the shape that I wanted. After spreading the work around I thanked the lord that the teacher, whatever her name was, didn't require us to color yet. This would have been impossible to pull off had she made us paint yet. After working on my beautiful vision, no pun intended sitting next to the future vamp, I sat back and admired my work. I grinned at my work, it was going to be perfect. The teacher called us to attention and started walking around looking at the pieces of work, making small comments here and there. Our desk was the furthest in the back so it took some time to finally reach our table. When she finally stopped at our table, she focused on Alice's work first.

"Oh Alice, it never cease to amaze me how beautiful your works come out." She commented. She continued to point out several spots that somehow were more aesthetically pleasing to her. Alice simply sat there and nodded, a small knowing smile on her lips.

The teacher gave a few more remarks before turning and looking at my work. I am pretty sure the gasp and the eyes widening drastically pretty much said everything.

"Um, Alex, uh….what is this?" She asked completely confused.

I nodded like I understood her confusion, which I did, cause the piece made no sense. Unless you had the magical power to BS your way out of art, which I seem to have. The bowl seemed to be holding fruit, most of which were in some state of explosion with bits and pieces scattered about.

"Well ma'am, fruit and other forms of plant life, to me, always seem to be exploding with life and energy. I tried to capture them in that form."

I began pointing out to her how the orange and apple in the front were exploding, not with destruction but with life which is why they somehow also seemed to retain some form, which just happened to also be the parts that I hadn't gotten around to changing. I explained that it was life of the food that spreading out across the canvas. I also explained to her how when this was completed with color it would make much more sense. As I continued to BS my way through this I notice the realization began to dawn across her face, quickly followed with what appeared to be...awe?

 _Holy crap, please tell me this isn't working. Nope look at that face, it is. OMG._

"Class, look at this," she said as she picked up my notebook and turning it to the class, "Look at how Alex chose to interpret this."

She began repeating what I said to class, pointing out some of my more flawed areas as if they were intentional. I made eye contact with Alice behind the teacher's back, I noticed her holding a hand over her mouth holding back her laughter.

' _ **Holy crap, I can't believe that actually worked'**_ I mouthed to her.

Her eyes crinkled more as she nodded. She took her small hand away from her mouth revealing a huge smile that made me want to smile back but I kept my face straight knowing the teacher could turn back to me at any time. The bell rang and the teacher handed back the notebook, once again singing my praises, and also expressed an interest in seeing it in color. I kept a straight face and thanked her again, before packing up and walking out with Alice who seemed to time our exit perfectly, damn psychic. As soon as the door closed behind us, we looked at each other before breaking down and laughing our butts off.

"Oh-my-god-that-was-the-most-hilarious-thing-ever," she was able to say between laughs.

We finally were able to settle down after a few minutes of this. The rest of the students passing looked at us completely confused about what the heck was going on. We stared at each other both in great moods now. I raised my hand up and looked at Alice expectantly, she rolled her eyes and gave me the high-five I so deserved.

"I can't believe that you were actually able to pull that off. Mrs. Kean always is able to catch someone trying to pull one over her. That was perfect," she said slightly laughing.

 _Oh, that's her name._

I bowed slightly, "Thank you ma'am, I played my part to the best of my abilities, I do think that went over quite well." Puffing my chest out, acting as cocky as I could again.

She giggled and it was the most adorable sound ever. Both angel and demon on my shoulders both cooed at this. But I decided that I should comment on her work as well.

"Yeah, but honestly. Your piece was actually incredible, not like mine, which I BS'd. You should be famous for yours." I praised.

She made a face that I would have assumed to be a blush if she could, "Thank you, but I'm really not that great. I just copied what I saw."

I knew what she was trying to do and guessed that it would be nicer to let her get away with it discretely.

"I disagree but it's your art. But I don't think you should underestimate yourself like that. Regardless, what's your next class?" I asked.

"Government with Mr. Jefferson."

Just as I was about to reply I got that feeling. You know, the feeling you get when you are messing around at home, trip and take down a vase...your moms favorite vase. Oh and it shattered into tiny pieces that are pretty much impossible to reassemble. Well the feeling I am talking about is when you're staring down at the disaster and you hear the front door open and your mom walking in. Yeah that combo of fear, dread, horror, little more fear, and your subconscious writing your will. Yeah that feeling. I turned and came face to face with Death. Hey they weren't lying when they said Death was beautiful...and blonde….with gold eyes….and a vampire chick. Well yup. Death. I am screwed.

 _So worth it though._

"Ah, hello, you must Alice's sister, Rosalie," I said with a tight smile.

Somewhere on my shoulder I heard a tiny voice.

 _DON'T PISS HER OFF ANYMORE. SCARRRYYYY._

I subconsciously looked over and saw the little devil...hiding behind the angel trembling in fear. Well that pretty much sums up how this confrontation was going.

"Hello," Rosalie said in a voice like velvet that was dripping with venom, "you must be Alex Casp. How nice to meet you."

She threw in a smile that could scare the insane out of a psychopath. She also held out her hand to shake mine...or crush it...probably crush it.

 _Well two can play that game._

I took my hand and lightly swat her own in a fashion similar to a high-five, if one is avoiding losing a hand to a scary vampire. She now looked miffed that her plan didn't work. I smirked internally before turning to Alice.

"It was great meeting you Madam Cullen," I said with a overzealous bow, "thank you for joining me on that beautiful adventure in Art. I do hope to see you again tomorrow. But until then I must depart to be miserable in Gym. Adieu madam."

I gave her a smile which she returned before I turned and walked away, completely ignoring Rosalie.

 _I should really start thinking about being nicer to Rosalie. Maybe._

Gym was miserable. But meeting Mike Newton alright. Well not alright. It was annoying. He was annoying. Gawd was he annoying. He seemed to have this strange idea that he was the Alpha male at the school and that I was threatening his position. So he put himself on whichever team wasn't mine for dodge ball and proceeded to try and knock me out. Not that I couldn't dodge the slow pitches that he threw, it was more like I really couldn't have given less of a damn. Sorry Mikey boy. But I really don't want to be top dog , head honcho or whatever strange term you call yourself.

When the bell rang you can be damn sure that I was the first one out of the gymnasium and into the locker rooms and the first one out. Walking out toward my little mini, I realized something.

 _Twilight. Edward. Volvo. His car. I parked next to only Volvo. Wow. Well. I'm screwed._

Walking into the parking lot I noticed all of the Cullen's a couple feet away from the Volvo just staring at my tiny car in confusion. I decided to be as sneaky as I could and slowed my pace to a crawl. I was maybe ten feet away when all of their heads snapped in my direction. I made eye contact with all of them except Rosalie. Because I remembered she had this protective thing about cars. And I liked my heart the way it was. You know, beating and still inside my chest.

"'Sup." I commented nonchalantly. Moving to a regular pace I ignore their looks and walked up to my door. I was about to get in when Edward called out.

"Hold up, I think we need to talk."

I nodded seriously…before getting in my car starting the engine and peeling out of that parking lot faster than you could say 'vampire'. I love my life. Get to travel back in time, meet fictional characters, piss off said fictional characters. Ah. Glorious.

The rest of the day was filled with me pigging out on food, dancing around with music on, opening the box that held my surfboard and giving her some TLC. Oh and I think I did some homework somewhere in there. Maybe. Wow, I should really get on that. Or. OR. OREOS!

 _Get it? Get it?! Gawd I am funny. But yeah let us find me some Oreos._

I stood outside the Art classroom. This would be the first time dealing with a Cullen. During lunch I didn't even look over at the Cullen's table. I took a deep breath and walked in. The classroom was filled, except no teacher. I walked over to my seat next to the tiny vampire. She was looking at me curiously.

"What's up doc?" I asked.

She looked around at the other students before shaking her head slightly. Mrs. Kean chose this moment to walk in the door, seemingly rushed and confused.

"I am sorry class but I can't seem to find our model from yesterday, so it appears we are going to have a lecture day and finish the paintings on a later date." She said sadly.

The class filled with moans and groans, meanwhile I looked at Alice with a questioning glance. She look back, feigning innocence. I smirked at her. Probably hid the bowl on the roof or some place random. The teacher called the class to order and she began lecturing. I figured the reason Alice hid the bowl was to talk to me and it didn't take long for her to prove me right as a slip of paper slid across the desk with her elegant handwriting on it. A note, how adorable.

 _ **How much do you know?**_

I thought for a moment before deciding to be honest with the tiny adorable vampire.

 _ **Everything.**_

She looked at this surprised and confused. I took the paper back from her and wrote again.

 _ **Have any visions about me yet?**_

I smirked at her complete confusion. Gawd so ADORABLE. She took the paper again and wrote.

 _ **How do you know?  
**_

I thought for a moment. I probably shouldn't share everything I knew. It would probably terrify them and make them run. And even though I love to annoy the crap out of people, Edward still deserved his chance at happiness. So I needed to make sure they stayed. Wait. Is Bella here yet? I hadn't met her nor had I heard any rumors yet. I took the paper and asked Alice, if anyone would know, it would be the seer-vampire.

 _ **Do you know if a girl named Isabella Swan will be attending this school?**_

Alice looked slightly confused at this but answered none the less.

 _ **Yes, she will be attending in a week, WHY?**_

I smiled at her confusion. Poor seer was probably annoyed that I knew something about the future that she didn't. Thankfully the teacher chose this moment to call on us.

"Mr. Casp and Miss. Cullen is there something you would like to share with the class?" She asked.

Alice looked up and feigned confusion, "My notes Mrs. Kean?" she asked holding up her notebook and I saw that it was filled with what was no doubt a perfect copy of what the teacher said.

Kean looked shock but reined it in before turning to me and noticing my notebook page was completely blank. Crap.

 _BS POWERS ACTIVATE!_

"I am sorry Mrs. Kean, but I do not take notes. I found that if I do I always seem to start doodling. So I chose to listen instead. The only reason I was talking to Alice was to check and make sure I heard you right when you were discussing horizons and how to correctly produce them."

When I was looking at Alice's notes I noticed the last thing she wrote about was something relating to horizons. Damn I'm good. Mrs. Kean looked shocked that we were both apparently paying attention. She nodded at us both before turning around and walking back up front to continue her lecture. I smiled before looking down and noticing a certain vamp had put our notes on my side with another message.

 _ **This class is so much more fun now that you are here to cause mayhem.**_

I smirked before replying.

 _ **What? Seven vampires hanging around a bunch of humans isn't funny enough?**_

 _Lol just revealed I knew their biggest secret nonchalantly._

I heard an intake of (unneeded) breath before turning and watching Alice destroy the evidence of our notes by ripping it into tiny bits of confetti. She looked at me for a moment with an emotion that I could name before turning forward. She studiously didn't look at me the rest of class. It was weird but I understood where she was coming from.

The class ended and she pulled an Edward, packed up and ran out of the class so fast it seemed to be almost inhuman. Of course that's is if you were paying attention. Which none of the other students were?

 _OMG do they just pretend to not notice anything supernatural?!_

Gym was a bore. Mike was his annoying self. Jess and Lauren were clingy and annoying. Coach Clapp was irritating when I asked him if he thought it would be possible to get out of attending gym. Not exactly the smartest move on my part but hey, I wanted out.

After walking out into the parking lot I noticed the silver Volvo was already gone. Huh. And here I thought they would confront me. Weird.

 _Oh wait, someone is by my Cooper._

Look over to the other side of the parking lot I could see a giant leaning against the driver's side door of my little red car. His thick arms were crossed in front of his chest and a scowl was planted on his face.

 _Ah, it appears to be Emmett. He is probably here to escort me to their house._

Realizing that Rosalie may or may not decide to kill me when I visit their home, I pulled up a safety net.

I turned to Jessica who was still walking next to me, "Hey Jess, sorry but I have to run. Alice Cullen and I have this weird art project we are working on and it looks like Emmett stayed to make sure I get to their place alright. I'll catch you later."

Walking away from Jessica's completely startled face at the fact that I am visiting the mythical Cullen's house.

Getting closer to my car I decided to play it cool, "Hey Emmett, what can I do for you."

"I was wondering if you could give me a ride home, my siblings have already left," he said in a deep voice.

 _What the heck. He looks mean. He is supposed to be fun. He almost looks intimidat-ah._

Realizing that he was here to intimidate me into going with him, I took a more thorough look at him. His almost buzz cut look fit him perfectly and Bella Swan wasn't lying when she said he looked like a bear. He was definitely attractive in his own way. Knowing that he is the prankster of the family I decided that he would be a fun friend to have, so I decided to be nice.

"Ah, poor Emmy Bear, left to intimidate the weak little human," I cooed.

His face went from scowl to shock in a matter of moments.

"Wha-how-but-wait-how did you know," he managed to stumble out.

 _Wow, made a vampire stumble. This is fun._

I smiled, "Come on Mr. Bear. I'll take you home and I can get the interview from the vamps."

I motioned for him to move and in his state of shock he did. I hopped in the driver's seat and a moment later he was in the passenger's side mumbling.

Confused, I asked what was wrong.

"Two things," he replied seriously annoyed, "first you weren't intimidated by me. And everyone is. How the hell weren't you scared?"

I laughed as I drove out of the parking lot.

"Sorry Teddy Bear, I know you may come off all big and scary, but I know that you are all sweet and cuddly on the inside. If you guys wanted to scary me, you would have had better luck with Jasper. I know he is still a great guy but hey, his past makes him pretty scary. Wait what's the second thing?"

Emmett looked pretty shocked that I knew about Jasper's past but seemed to get over it quickly. He then looked around at the car as his head rubbed the ceiling and his knees were bent slightly so he could get both of them in the car, "This tiny box of a car is too damn small," he said clearly annoyed.

I laughed at his miffed expression, "Ignore him Ham," I said patting the dashboard, "he doesn't mean it."

Emmett looked confused, "Ham?"

I nodded, "Yeah, you know, the Sandlot, 'You're killin me smalls!'"

Emmett guffawed and shook his head.

I smiled at his antics and continued to drive. He pointed out directions where to go and in no time we were driving up their driveway. And I mean no time. Not that I drive fast. But that this town is so flipping small it takes minutes to cross the whole thing. UGH. I miss California.

Emmett and I sat in a comfortable silence. I knew he would wait till we were at his house for the questions so his whole family could ask and hopefully find some answers.

When we finally reached the house I made a decision. Bella calls this a house. It is not a house. I have experience in this area and I am fully aware that this is a mansion. A beautiful mansion. The white was a beautiful contrast to the dark green of the surrounding woods. I was never really big on architecture or interior design but the few books that I had read, because I read anything, gave me the knowledge that Esme is a pure master at her work.

I parked my Mini off to the side and got out staring at the master piece.

"See something you like," Emmett said with a smirk.

"Oh yeah, your mom is a master. I have seen quite a few mansions in my time and I can easily swear that this is one of the more beautiful ones."

Emmett smiled a nicer smile, "she will be happy to hear that."

Emmett and I walked up to the big white front door and I took a deep breath.

 _Lets meet this vampire family._

 **HAHAHAHA YOU THOUGHT YOU WOULD GET TO MEET THE CULLENS HA GUESS AGAIN! yup so, had fun with this one my gorgeous reader peeples. I had a blast being evil and annoying to all the vampire characters, specially Rosalie. Just waiting for her to crawl out of the text and gouge my eyes out ;P**

 **Regardless please leave a review even if you hated it, but I doubt you did, cuz I'm awesome. But so are you. *Que flattery*...I did that cuz im too lazy to actually try and flatter you lol.**

 **BYE!**


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